Our bug man came on Fri.
we talked about bugs. looked around the house. Kind of what I expected.
Then I left and he doused my house with pesticides.
The house felt pretty gross that first night back. A toxic war-zone.
Today was my day off and I've started to put the house back together. Most of my belongings have been decontaminated at this point, though I do still have a batch in the freezer. Now the trick will be keeping them that way while I wait out the quarantine. It will be a few months yet before I know for sure that they're gone. In the meanwhile, I have to stay in the house and sleep in my bed. The treatment is more effective if there are people around to entice the bugs out of their hiding places. It just doesn't make for a very restful sleep, and I'm already feeling completely burnt out.
Our show is back into rehearsal prep at the moment. A few different reasons. One of which is prepping the understudy show that we have not run yet. It's the most complicated one too; so I'm feeling that work load at the moment.
And what's with all the crazy shows this week? Power outages, equipment failing (people failing), props and costumes breaking? The show is literally starting to fall apart and I get the feeling that everyone has had about enough. Its like the week off just gave everyone a moment to realize how much they hate being here and then we came back and there's still so much to go.
I am ready to be done.
I'm exhausted, lonely and uncomfortable and at the same time, I am also creatively and professionally frustrated.
I stayed on this project because I refused to let it break me. Though I may still be here, I do, in the end, feel broken. I wonder if I've accomplished anything by coming on this G-d forsaken adventure.
If I click my heels three times do you think I can go home?
oh wait...all my shoes are in bags being decontaminated...never mind.
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